Speaking in code makes me feel like a secret agent

Nothing is more annoying than an unnecessary text message that wakes me up and prevents me from going back to sleep. I’m sure others have this issue, but because of my sporadic, frequent sleep schedule this is a common concern of mine. Luckily, I’ve developed a rather clever solution. No, it is not turning off my phone. That would be stupid, and I could miss something important. My solution is a simple code word: shhhh. You see, I can’t reply to an untimely text with, “I’m sleeping.” My friends and family most always reply with another text asking, “Why are you asleep?” I can’t ignore the text message. That will be met with more texts asking where I am or what I’m doing or if I secretly hate the text’s sender. That’s three more texts! So, I’ve developed the simple “shhhh” reply. When some one sends me a text, and I’m asleep, I reply to them and end the text with “shhhh”. That means, “Don’t text me back. No, I probably don’t hate you, and I’m definitely not ignoring you because I hate you which could or could not be true. I am safely in my bed. Yes, I know what time it is. No, I don’t care. I’m sleeping.” Sure my code isn’t perfect. And I probably would sleep better if I didn’t sleep with my phone under my pillow.  But I love my phone almost as much as I love sleeping; shhhhing helps link the two.