Make over overhaul

I’ve been watching a lot of reality TV lately. But I don’t like the shows with a cast of recurring people. I prefer the shows were people enter another person’s life, make a drastic change, and then leave never to return again. These shows make me want to redesign my life. Sadly, I don’t have the money to redo my wardrobe. And because I’m living in someone else’s house, I probably shouldn’t rearrange the furniture layout. That leaves me very few chances to emulate the people I see on TV. So, I’m going to wash my car for the second time this week complete with going over the front dash with q-tips. I’m getting so good at cleaning my car, I think I might have a reality show on my hands. I’ll call it Driving You Crazy when you have absolutely nothing to do, I’ll do something that doesn’t need to be done: Detailed, pointless cleaning.   

One hundred

When I started blogging my goals were pretty big: world domination, publication, free puppies. I was also a lot stricter on myself. Over the last months, though, I have really learned to enjoy the online writing process. I’m no longer so rigid on posting. I’ve also learned that what I really want from blogging is the freedom to write and the illusion that people are reading. So, here is my 100^th post. In elementary school, after the first hundred days of classes we all brought in one hundred items as a visual reminder of our accomplishment. I still remember the white sweat shirt with one hundred red buttons hot glued all over. Things were a lot easier in elementary school. But a few of the perks have remained. Specifically, celebrating the big one hundred. It’s a big deal... I promise.    

Sappy

I drove to see my cousin earlier today. We had a great time but the trip across the city was awful. The past week my car ahs been parked in the driveway. Turns out, the tree next to the drive is seeping goo. Not to big of a deal, since I have windshield wipers and wiper fluid. So, I washed my windshield and drove on. It wasn’t until the freeway that I realized, I have a back windshield. A back windshield covered in sap. Sticky-oh-Lord-I-can’t-see-anyone-behind-me-sap. Luckily, I was able to calmly exit and find a gas station where I could clean my window before I panicked and/or killed people. I guess its good that I now know I need to wash my back windshield if I park anywhere near the giant tree in the front of the house. And that’s no more annoying than watching a geography bee... Trees are annoying.   

Sick pup

I own a very smart dog. The most difficult part about being so far away from home is being away from my adorable genius dog. This month, to distract me from the relentless job search and Shamrock-less life, I’ve been house sitting and dog sitting. The dog is cute, I’ll give him that. He’s cuddly enough and has long hair like my border collie. But he’s not very smart. He’s a notorious not very smart breed: cocker spaniel. But worse than his inability to understand basic commands, he has the dog version of Prader-Willi syndrome. Have you ever heard of that? Its this sad thing were, essentially, the victim has no ability to know when they are satiated. They’re always hungry. Every time I make eye contact with this dog, he runs to his food bowl and looks at me with giant stupid dog eyes and whines. Even if five seconds earlier I fed him his dinner and he ate it all. Every time I stand up to do anything, this dog runs to the kitchen and sits in front of the cabinet where his food is and whines... Its frustrating. Now I don’t want to downplay the horribleness of this syndrome... but seriously. This dog has no self awareness. He’s driving me crazy. Its just another reminder of how amazing my dog is

Tiny consolation

Today, I got my very first rejection email. One of the jobs I applied for have decided to “go in a different directions” and will “no longer be considering my application at this time”. It might sound like I’m extravagating when I say I’ve applied for a lot of jobs. But I have. I’m averaging about three a day, and I started May 23. And today I got my very first rejection. Its actually very validating. For the first time in this job search I know that someone read my resume... or at least read enough of it to find my email address. And they took the time to send me an email letting me know to forget it. Because of that email my hopes are right where they belong, low. But that’s okay. I’m okay with it because I know something. Let’s hope this is the first in a long line of rejects. And one perfect “please be the next young billionaire and here’s the keys to the company... I mean your jet.” Thank you one brave rejection sender I now have realistic hopes.

Unusual productivity

Today I had to wake up at five to drive my friend to the airport. Despite knowing I had to wake-up so early I didn’t get to bed until around two. Surprisingly, though, I was able to take here to the airport come home and actually accomplish things today. No, I haven’t found a job.

But I did go for two walks on a beautiful trail nearby. I made spaghetti for dinner. And a saw a chipmunk. A real life chipmunk. Just running in the lawn being ridiculously chipmunky. Seriously, I’ve never seen a wild chipmunk. They’re one of those animals that I know exist, but can’t visualize. Like armadillos or chameleons. Now I can put chipmunks in perspective. My goal this month (minus finding a lucrative career) is to take a picture of my little woodland friend. Or maybe a video. Yeah, that would be perfect. Then I can always remind myself of how great the mysterious chipmunk is even after I move into the chipmunk free city.   

Preventive strike

I’m about to start a month long house sitting job, so I’m gathering my supplies. I really want to have some DVDs to entertain me when there is nothing to watch on TV. I could watch a television show, fall in love with characters, become completely addicted, and then spiral into a depression once I have to leave the cable TV zone. Sounds unrealistic? You obviously don’t know me.

I was a high school student when I fell in love with my first regularly scheduled scripted television show: Angel. Then, the show was cancelled. Not a big deal to sane individuals. But for me, I couldn’t stand it. I stopped watching all my scheduled TV shows. I refused to let myself become attached again just to have a show ripped away. To this day, I prefer reality shows because they lack plat lines that can turn into cliff hangers which can cause years of irreversible anxiety. So, tonight, I’m watching hockey and scouring my roommates DVD collection. After all, I doubt anyone would want me to revert to my post-Angel state... let’s just stay it isn’t healthy for one person to have that much hate within them.  

3D dilemma

I’m taking a quick break from my house sitting job to hang out with my best friend. He works the most amazing shift ever: eleven at night to seven in the morning. This helps me with my insomnia, I finally have no reason to stay up. But it does make going out and having fun a little difficult. For two days we have been trying to go see a movie. The problem is, we sleep during the matinee time and the night movies, well they all seem to be in 3D.

I don’t like paying for 3D. If I have the option, I don’t watch the 3D version. Mainly, its because I can’t see the cool (so I’m told) effects. I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this problem of mine, but I’m legally blind in one eye. And my other is perfect. This means, I lack depth perception, right side peripheral vision, and the ability to see 3D movies. But I still have to shell out thirteen bucks. No thank you. So, we haven’t been to the movies yet. Maybe tomorrow the movie theater industry will offer a night time 2D showing of this year’s Summer blockbuster. Or we could try waking up before four... doubt it.

Tan lines

I’ve spent the last couple of days house sitting for some friends. It’s a sweet gig: cable TV, stocked fridge, cuddle puppy. What I wasn’t expecting during this house sitting job, however, was the prospect of doing actual work. I didn’t know that my friends had built a home with the intent of building a jungle in Georgia. Every day I have to water a couple dozen houseplants. Then I get to water the entire back yard which has conveniently been transformed into a garden oasis. And next week, I get to mow the lawn... seriously? I guess I shouldn’t complain. I could be paying rent or living on someone’s couch. And in the pass three days I’ve gotten more sun than I have in years. Now I just need to find out how to word “can watch a dog and take care of plants good” in a way that will bulk up my resume.   

Still getting my sea legs

As I spend another weekend unemployed I’m reminded how much I miss a routine. My sleep schedule has been nearly opposite that of a “normal” person. My first step to routine rehabilitation is definitely getting myself to bed before two in the morning. I’m aiming at weaning myself off all night job hunting computer fests by going to bed earlier and earlier. And in order to make going to bed worth it, I’ll be needing to wake up before noon too... Sleeping is just so fun. But how can I have a legitimate job and get seventeen hours of sleep? Age old question really. At least I recognize my problem. I heard that’s the first step. Now, someone should rewarded me with a job.

Toughest thing

Being away from my dog is always the single hardest thing about not being at home. I knew leaving this time would be just as difficult, but I wasn't planning on the added difficulty of my roommate's dog. This dog is just so... not my dog. Besides the obvious fact that this tiny, tailless, short haired dog could never be as completely cuddlisious as my boarder collie lab mutt/ giant ball of energetic love fuzz, there's something about his mere presence. He reminds me that I don't have my dog. And not having my dog is sadder than not having a job.  Argh! Stupid apartment living, face-pace lifestyle that makes having an athletic dog non-practical. I guess this pain is what the country singers have been trying to warn me about for years.  

Hibernation

A wise person once told me that the month after graduation will cause even the most prepared ex-student to revert into an infantile state. Apparently, the post-grad needs about thirteen hours of sleep each day in order to function. Of course by function I mean sit around and lament the fact they have nothing to live for... or maybe that’s just me.

I hope that this ungracious period doesn’t last a whole month. But it will definitely take some time to get into a routine. I’m not used to living six hours away from my mother, to being jobless, or to lacking a daily purpose. I’ve already taken some steps to becoming an adult instead of an awkward, emotionally distraught bum. My resume is floating around the city and my blogging should become consistent again.

I know that, eventually, things will work themselves out. My body will recover from the shock of graduating; I’ll fully join society. But for now I play the “please give me a job” game, save my money, and call my mother... three times a day.   

Dead zone

Before I head out into the real world, I'm spending sometime at my mother's. Sadly, this means I'm in the terrible world of no Internet or cable tv. But, I'm not complaining. I'll get back into blogging once I settle into Atlanta and consistent Internet. Until then, assume I'm having a fantasic time sleeping, snuggling with my dog, and have repetitive conversations with my mother.

End game

I have a college degree. And I'm happy that I'm too busy spending time with my friends to blog. Maybe next week I'll be able to put into words how I feel. Now, I'm content spending time with my friends and listening to sappy songs. 

Heartbreak hotel

As I get ready to spend my last night in my college dorm, I’m an emotional mess. The posters are off my wall, my clothes are packed, and college is over. Luckily, I have a great day to look forward to tomorrow. The only thing standing in my way of graduation now is one night of sleep. The dorms are mostly empty, since all the non-graduating students cleared out yesterday, making this night less like a usual college night and more like a night in awkward hotel. A hotel with a bunch of empty rooms and uncontrollably cold air conditioning. A hotel room I would actually never stay in. It’s sad. I didn’t think I’d miss the yelling and booming bass from the younger students’ dorms... but I do. Stupid graduation making stupid pointless things full of emotions and point.

Puppy face

I moved home a car full of stuff two nights ago. My adorable puppy was happy to see me, but more happy to see all my things. It's like she knows that I need my stuff to be there in order to stay there a long time. I don't know how to tell her I'm going to bring all my stuff home and then leave... for pretty much ever. I think I'll just quietly leave one day over the summer and not tell her.
I know. She's a dog. But I know she has feelings. When she was sleeping on my feet the other night she kept have little puppy dreams. What if she is having nightmares about how horrible I am always leaving her? It scares me.
But more than just being terrified that I'm breaking my dog's heart, I'm terrified that in two weeks I'll be hundreds of miles from my family. I'll have to buckle down and get a job. And I won't have my puppy to keep me company at night. I guess it's one of the many sacrifices I have to make in order to be an adult. Why does it seem impossible to find a job that involves a ton of money and playing fetch all day?

Jobs I wouldn't mind working

Chalky candy heart message writer

Professional tweeter for Obama

Voice over  guy for movie trailers

Balloon artist

Dog walker

Cartoon Band-Aid designer

Anything that involves Legos

This is it?

I’ve taken my tests; I’ve turned in my essays; and I sold back my books. I’m done. All I have to do is finish packing my room and walk across the stage. I wish I had ended my school year with some sort of bang. But I guess ending the  school year slowly and with mediocre grades is good enough.  Now, I just need to find a job. I thought graduating was supposed to be the difficult part...

Not worth your time

As graduation looms... is that the right word? Isn't that what you use to make rugs? Anyway, as graduation approaches, I'm more and more focused on finding a job. You might remember in an earlier post when I had an amazing job interview... I ask that you read a few days after that when I had amazing surgery. Basically, those two weeks were a pain fueled state of confusion. I'm sure I royally screwed-up the interview. And I, quite obviously, didn't get the job. So, I've returned to the front lines of resume sending and application completing. Today I sent one out for a job I would really enjoy having. The website looked colorful and in the pictures, people were smiling. Sadly, as soon as I sent my cover letter and resume it became clear that this might not be a super happy place to work for. The automated response for my application sent to my email simply stated: don't call us. If we want you we'll call you, eventually. Really? That's nice. Maybe I should apply again, this time making sure to put in my cover letter that I am willing to send personalized replies to all applicants and actually act like a human with human emotions. After all, the company is plainly lacking in that field.

Everyone and thier mothers

Mother's day has always been a personal favorite of mine when it comes to holidays. Mainly because all I have ever had to do is give my mom a nice card and call my grandmother. But today, I was shocked by the amount of attention this minimally attentive holiday received. Where was all the mother traffic coming from? Facebook. I should have been suspicious earlier this week when people started changing profile pictures. But when my news feed blew up with well wishes, I was shocked by how many "world best mothers" there are. I was also shocked by the fact that, apparently, every body's mother has a Facebook. Now I've been friend requested by a few of my buddies' mothers but I didn't realize how many mothers there were. So, I have made a pledge and I ask my friends to join me. As soon as you have offspring old enough to social network, stop social networking. That simple. After all, isn't it easier to live vicariously?